Saturday, August 2, 2008

Tis the day I walk on away. Away to where I can find a place to belong to........

This is going to be my last post here.

Too many people know me now. So I have to go. Don't worry my dear readers. I will be back on another name and another page. This blog will be here forever. (cause I don't know what to do with the posts).lol. But I won't be here anymore.

I can't write what I want to with so many knowing that this is me. It's only 11 people but 11 is more than enough. Soon this number will grow and then I won't be able to write anything anymore.

There's so much that goes on in my head and every time that I let it out and speak it, people laugh at me, judge me or make fun of me :(

I need to go to a safer refuge and be by myself where I can express myself and be loved and respected for who I am.

If you've noticed, most of my posts are getting stale. That's cause I'm not writing what I want to but more of what I can and cannot cause I know who's going to read it.

So I bid you all goodbye my dear friendly readers. I'm so grateful you all have been there for me through all the happy nonsense and ... freaky stalker ones as well. lol. But I've got to go now.

I'll meet you again on your blog.

Same person. Different name. Different site :)

Bye all.

Signing off as... Alexis-Marie.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Strength drawn from within endures all

Breathing was made for the priviliged.

It was for those who could use it to survive in a world of challenges.

The weak would collapse and then decay

And till no more would they be on that last day.

..............We take it for granted that it will always be there

But when it's gone, you can't have it back.

A tightness it pulls within the quiet passage

Till a tunnel no more it becomes

I can't breathe.

That was at 6am this morning. I woke up gasping for air. lol. I didn't know what to do so I went to Kennysia's page for help and after 3 lines of air topic it changed to something else and I was forgotten.

But it's fascinating ya know. How we take for granted life and say that.. "OMG! I'm going to die in math!!!!!" and come out of the class alive.

Here I really was on my bed gasping for air and didn't know at all what to do and so I just lay there hoping for the best. My life was entirely in faith.

I fell asleep and actually woke up. That's lucky I have to say.
What if I didn't wake up?

But I guess life's too short for the "if"s and "whens" and "hows".

It should be lived. Stretched and pulled to the farthest of all limits.

And yet, its fragility on the lines of death be looked after with care as well.

The arrival of the chicken burger


ps: Thank You God for BURGERS... **droooooool

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color

Ya know. I really have the most beautiful friends in the world.
Now that I'm sick, they'd take care of me. Check on me to see that every thing's all right.

They'd never let me go hungry :
Darling Housemate did steamed sausages and fishballs for me. Cause I have a really sore throat.but she wouldn't buy me my most craved McChicken burger.. only porridge.cause I'm sick

They'd make sure I have everything that I need :
Levis guitarist called to make sure that I have enough meds and don't need anything else.but he wouldn't buy me my most craved McChicken burger.. only porridge.cause I'm sick

They'd help inform me about my homeworks and tell my teachers that I'm too sick to do anything but sleep:
Dear little one told everyone I'm sick and can't attend college today lol.but she wouldn't buy me my most craved McChicken burger.. only porridge.cause I'm sick

And everyone wouldn't let me eat McDonalds eventhough I was so craving for it:
Except the vegetarian goat, but he somehow just totally forgot to buy it on the way back from college. lol. probably cause he actually doesn't want me to eat it anyways.

So later, about 5 hours later... I remember that they have delivery services. I'm such a dodo sometimes.

Aren't my friends beautiful? lol.
And since I really can't do anything else except be like a vegetable and sleep the whole day, I'm going to blog hop the whole evening. Just drop me a link if you want me to read all right.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Thanksgiving to you O Most High

I'm sick.. with runny nose, a sore throat and fever.

And as blur as I am. I want EVERYONE to know that a bowl of porridge and a glass of orange juice are the most heaven sent food to anyone when you're sick!

Thank you God for the lovely food. I pray that I would be as fortunate as this all the time (not the sick part) but for the chance to taste good food and to live a happy life. And please take care of all the friends who are being there for me, yes, even the vegetarian goat with the garden of a fridge who makes fun of me all the time. Oh, and that someone, somewhere in the world would help world hunger by delivering.. not food but jobs and stable incomes. and.... oh, my favorite line:

.........and God bless everyone Amen.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

An apple a day keeps the doctor away... but there are 6 in the fridge and I'm still so weak.

It's been a long hard day but at the end of it, it was all worthwhile.

I've got this really hard lecturer. Brilliant but very strong.

He plays the piano for Sultans and even the International Jazz Festival. He's been a long way in his life and now he's teaching us.

He's definitely not someone you wanna mess around with. He calls us all darlings and dears but is VERY strict when it comes to work. He pushes us to be harder and I'm honestly grateful that I have one of the best lecturers ever.

Just afraid that he'll slash my marks.

But that's the beauty in life.

People have to go through the worse to bring out the best in them
-from The Book of Ruth-

It's the only way that they would ever learn from anything.

I've noticed that when I'm comfortable, secure and happy...
I go through life thinking that everything's going to be fine. When it actually will not be. It's just a monotonous life and nothing would ever happen to you. It's comfortable.. ya know? Like you have safety blanket when things get cold.

You don't think, You don't bother about anything, You're content with what you have and that's all that is ever going to matter.

And because of that, you do nothing about everything. ... but from there, you find contentment and peace within yourself. I know I did in the past one year.

I worked hard, played hard and shopped hard. I was very happy. The typical girl next door. I couldn't ask for more

Now that the vacation is up...... That's all gone

I'm poor, there's a ton of work and I hardly get to go shopping nowadays.

But it's for a good cause

Music changes the world....(but that's another story)

Friday, July 25, 2008

Walking stick... necessary...

I don't get why people think they're bad?

I've met them and they are really pleasent and nice. But everytime I tell them that they're nice, they put on this defence mechanism and tell me that they're not nice. That they're jerks or evil people. 

Do good people like to think that they're bad so that if they do something bad, it's actually ok?

lol. Probably. Like how I think I'm fat and my friend tells me that
 I'm not allowed to talk about fat around him, cause he thinks I'm blind.

People are very complicated. 

Or maybe my friend is right and I am blind.